When you think of the perfect mate what do you see? Do they have a certain look to them are they super smart or terribly funny? Are they strong and dominant or gentle and soft hearted? The reason I ask these questions is because what we look for in a potential mate are sometimes the qualities we may subconsciously feel we’re lacking ourselves. There’s a reason they say opposites attract, they do! It’s not uncommon for an extremely shy girl to be attracted to an out going and popular guy or for a quiet and timid man to be attracted to a strong domineering woman. Humans are as afraid as we are intrigued by the unknown and so it makes perfect sense that we sometimes find ourselves drawn to people we seem to have absolutely nothing in common with or who could potentially be the exact opposite of us. It’s also pretty safe to say that when looking for a mate we’re looking to find someone who completes us so having someone who shines in the departments we may be lacking in could possibly create a beautiful balance as we each bring our best qualities to the table. However it can also prove to be damaging in some cases. Sometimes it’s not a beautiful balance at all but rather a power struggle or an abusive situation where one partner is controlling or manipulating the other. A super shy girl should not go for a boisterous ladies man because she’ll never stand a chance when competing for his time and affection and a super dominant woman should stay away from men who are very passive and submissive because eventually she will lose her respect for him and turn into his boss or mother rather than the love of his life. It’s important to take the time to discover what type of person you are so that you’re able to tell which people would best suite you. This saves much time and energy and may lessen the chances of a broken heart. If you’re already in a relationship then take a look at what it is you’re bringing to the table and figure out if you and your love are truly balanced or just going through the relationship motions. Start by writing down the qualities you admire about yourself then write down the qualities you hope to find in a mate or wish your current mate had or are happy that your mate has. Compare the two lists and see how many match and how many are actually inner void fillers. If you have more void fillers than matches then you basically wrote yourself a list of the things you may need to work on. Of course it is magical meeting someone who makes you feel whole but any healthy relationship consists of two equally whole parts so taking the time to discover what you need and need to work on is a major factor in being the perfect counterpart you were meant to be. Once you have your first list of things to work on go out and research. Find books or news paper articles on the subjects. Utilize the internet. Ask other people how they cope with the same issues. The point here is to be completely honest with yourself about the areas you need work on. I myself struggled with anger for many, many years and it was my desire to break old habits that lead me to continue researching about other areas I felt I needed to work on and that ultimately brought me to write this blog so you never know how beneficial it may be for you to take a good long look at yourself and to start finding ways to becoming a better you.
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