As human beings we all have the same basic needs and desires. To feel safe, happy and content in our day to day lives are just a few but I think our greatest and most profound desire/need is to experience love. Many times we find ourselves stuck in an unhealthy relationship or desperately seeking approval from outside sources such as friends and family due to our humanly nature to feel loved and accepted. We sometimes go to great lengths to hold on to people and relationships even if we know they aren't good for us in fear of being rejected and ultimately left alone. We may accept certain behaviors knowing it's unfair or painful to us just to keep someone else happy so they in turn wont leave and we may even beg or plead with someone who's trying to let go of us or the situation/relationship making ourselves look ridiculous and flat out pitiful. The commonalities here are the desperate needs to feel loved by someone other then ourselves. I myself have fallen victim to this harsh cycle plenty of times in my life but as i get older (and hopefully wiser) I realize that if I just spend a little more time loving myself then I wont need to settle, beg or seek love in an unhealthy form from unhealthy sources. I found the more I loved myself the easier it was to spot people and situations that weren't progressive of my growth as an individual. I stopped seeking the approval of others and began to reflect on my own needs and how I could fulfill them for myself and I began to see that what I had been so desperate to find was inside of me all along, to know true and unconditional love that has no end or beginning. No love is greater than the love one can have for themselves. Now I'm obviously not promoting a hermit like existence, we all need human contact and to give and share as much love as possible during our time on earth but I am promoting a love for yourself that's so powerful, so beautiful and so pure that the people you surround yourself with have no choice but to love you just as much. I know its hard to feel this way about ourselves when we live in a society where looks, money and social status' are cherished and praised to no end but to be able to stay afloat its a definite MUST! The more we love and accept ourselves the less we love and accept the idea of what we think we "should" be and the more deserving we feel when its time to allow someone else to love us too. In order to have healthy relationships you have to have a deep connection with yourself and be able to accept who are regardless of how anyone else feels about you. Self love promotes confidence and self assurance which are qualities beneficial to everyone in every aspect of life and I found the more open I was to loving myself the closer I became to God because I started to see that I was made in His light, pure and perfect just as he is. You cannot be a productive partner, parent, friend or member of society if you're lacking where it counts the most so do everyone around you a favor and start loving the amazing person you are and leave behind the negative self talk and criticism. Try these confidence boosting tips if you have to.
List your most valued qualities and the reasons you value them
List all your greatest achievements and why they make you proud
Write yourself 3 affirmations and say them everyday until you truly believe them
Read books and articles that promote self awareness
Remember no one on earth is perfect
Give yourself permission to make mistakes
Journal
End any and all emotional or mentally abusive relationships
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