You are a soul. You have a body

I always enjoyed the show I Survived but recently I was lucky enough to catch another show by the same creators called I Survived: Beyond and Back. I'll admit that it's my new obsession cuz I truly can't get enough of it! It tells the story of 3 people (usually 3) who have had a near death experience. Their hearts have stopped for either a short or surprisingly long amount of time and they all came back to life with memories of what took place while they were, for lack of a better word, dead. It was amazing to hear each persons recollection since they shared so many similarities. Having been met by a loved one who had passed before them or by what they say was an angel or even God himself. Being engulfed in a superior white/yellowish light, having no sense of time or any of their daily responsibilities and having a wave of calm and peace running through them. They all experienced a feeling of being loved and welcomed as if they were returning home from an extended holiday and they all claimed to have felt rejected and hurt when they were told they had to return to their bodies, not wanting to leave this very special place. It sparked such a huge interest in me that I started looking up other stories on the internet and much to my surprise there were hundreds if not thousands of other people who were claiming to have gone through almost the same exact thing. But who or what went through these experiences if the person lay dead with no heart beat? I've always feared dying because I always wondered what was going to happen after my body took its last breath. I knew we all had to die at some point but I just couldn't accept that my inner voice, the voice of reason, compassion and joy would be silent forever. Where would all my thoughts go? And what about all the people I love so dearly? Where would all that love for them go? But after watching and reading those stories I began to feel at ease with the whole process of dying and leaving behind my physical self. I started to feel that I, like the people in the stories and the rest of mankind are in a sense immortal. That always present voice inside that fills us with laughter and joy, tells us to help our fellow neighbor and to give thanks isn't a voice at all, its our soul. Being religious has nothing to do with it, period. We all posses a soul, whether given to us by God or the universe itself I cannot say but I know whether we believe in it or not its there working to keep us on the right path. Our human life is not reality. Its our souls journey in a physical form and once we've completed our task we will be called home. What we idolize here on earth, money, status, power and so on are all distractions from our true purpose. The main thing all those who'd passed and came back had in common were the feelings of love, peace and joy while "in the light" and those feelings wouldn't be possible without a soul. Its a sign, at least to me anyway, that what we have inside of us is much more real and valuable than anything we could possibly posses in material form. Our true power comes from our soul. Its what gives us our strength to carry on even when everything seems to be falling apart. Its what gives us the faith to fall asleep each night even though there's no guarantee that we'll wake up in the morning. Its our own personal navigation system telling us which choices to make along the way. Of course part of life's beauty is the ability to make choices for ourselves since the soul can only do so much. But many times we say "I knew I shouldn't have" or "The voice inside told me not to" yet we made the choice to do it anyway, ignoring our souls direction. Instead of blocking out the voice we should be embracing it since our souls main purpose is to guide us towards ultimate peace and happiness, freeing us from our earthly mundane existence. Our soul is the sum total of who we are, past, present and future. In the words of  C.S. Lewis - "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body".

Living in Abundance

If you're anything like me then you have big dreams of hitting the lotto and striking it rich one day but what if all that we want and desire is right here in front of our faces? No winning numbers or big checks with multiple 0's just a life with less wants and more haves. Is it impossible to feel abundant when we constantly struggle with paying bills making sacrifice after sacrifice just to get by?
One day I asked myself a question: Why do you want to win the lottery? And of course the obvious reasons came to mind first, financial freedom, being able to help my friends and family and having enough to donate on a more regular basis, however the more I sat with the question the more answers started to flood my mind. I want to be powerful, a voice people will listen to. I want to make a difference. I want to be loved and admired. I want to prove to the world that I am capable of doing things some said I never would. Then I realized something; majority of the things I wanted didn't require my winning the lottery at all. In fact NONE of them did! I could start to work on every single thing on that list right now and I would probably accomplish most, if not all, a hell of a lot sooner than I might waiting around to win the lottery. Now don't get me wrong I still play every week and continue to trust that the universe is doing what it can to bring my dreams into reality but instead of idly sitting on the side lines I can put myself to work and begin to manifest those desires now.  I let go of the ever present and always harmful ego and told myself that if I made an effort to make a difference than the true power would lie in being able to help even one person in the world. I thought about my family and friends and how much I love them and they me and I saw I didn't need to have millions of dollars to be able to appreciate and help them if they needed me now. I told myself that even though I might not be rich I can still donate not only a few bucks but some of my spare time to the less fortunate. I kept reminding myself that seeking the approval of others, in any form, was just another way to feed my own ego so whether or not those who doubted me saw me in another light was completely irrelevant to my purpose. Once I narrowed it all down I saw I had so much to be thankful for in the present moment! A steady job with good pay and great benefits, a lovely apartment for myself and daughter to call home, people who care and love me unconditionally and an abundance of other things that I'd normally be taking for granted. Life in itself is a reason to feel abundant. The air we breath, the sun we bask in, the fresh foods we eat and the water we quench our thirsts and clean ourselves with are all blessings provided by the universe. These are things to be grateful for because without any of those we would have no life. We don't need money to be alive, plenty of people live long lives in poverty stricken countries and even on our own streets with barely anything to call theirs yet they are still here, alive and breathing. I'd read The Secret so I had already been on a mission to keep positive thoughts and be thankful for a little while but I never really noticed all the amazing things I could be thanking God for. I can honestly say that as I focused on all my haves rather than my have not's it made a huge difference in my life financially, emotionally, mentally and physically. I always have enough to pay my bills and to buy the things I need with extra to do other things like go away or go to a party with my girls. I have much greater relationships with those I hold near and dear to my heart. I'm able to accept that sometimes I can't get everything I want. And I take better care of myself and body now that I have a higher appreciation for my health. I feel as if I have everything I could ever want on a daily basis and when anything extra happens to come my way its just another reason to be grateful. So what makes a life of abundance? I say a life of gratitude.

So Many Thoughts, Such Little Time

As an over thinker I sometimes find it really hard not to focus on the things and people that make me upset. When I started trying to live a more positive life I thought the trick was to suppress all the negative thoughts I had but the more I tried the harder it got. I'm a chronic over thinker so keeping a handle on my thoughts seemed completely outrageous at first. Realistically speaking if any of us tries not to think about something then that's the exact thing we'll be thinking about, right? So how can we maintain a happy outlook if we keep over thinking issues and past experiences that hurt or made us angry? Well for starters we can face the fact that we can never really control all our thoughts. Monks and skilled yogis study for years and years before they can truly master their mind but for the average person it could seem almost impossible. I'm a huge fan of Deepak Chopra and when reading his New York Times best seller: Reinventing The Body, Resurrecting The Soul, he said something that made me think (not like I need to do anymore thinking). He said that we should never try to suppress any of our thoughts, good, bad or ugly and that if we accept them for what they are, a simple thought, and don't assign them anymore power than necessary they will pass and a new thought will eventually creep its way in. So basically if we let each thought come and go rather then picking at it over and over again then we have a better chance of being happy, for the most part. Some may claim that over thinking leads to better decision making which results in a happier life and more success however studies have shown that over thinkers are more prone to sadness and negative thinking patterns. In fact over thinking may be linked to impaired problem solving and irrational thoughts which can be dangerous for some people. It becomes increasingly harder to focus on the now when you're constantly stuck in the past going over every detail of something you have no control over and the more you go over a situation in your mind the easier it is to foster a pessimistic view and pessimism is a silent but deadly killer. Now a days when I find myself falling back into that old over thinking pattern I try to distract myself with something else and it usually works pretty well but sometimes I have to accept the thought, give myself a time limit and permission to only think about it for that short amount of time. I'm beginning to ask myself more and more if what I'm thinking of will have any affect on my life 6 months from now and if I feel it wont then it doesn't merit anymore thought than that, period.

A Better Me Makes a Better Us

When you think of the perfect mate what do you see? Do they have a certain look to them are they super smart or terribly funny? Are they strong and dominant or gentle and soft hearted? The reason I ask these questions is because what we look for in a potential mate are sometimes the qualities we may subconsciously feel we’re lacking ourselves. There’s a reason they say opposites attract, they do! It’s not uncommon for an extremely shy girl to be attracted to an out going and popular guy or for a quiet and timid man to be attracted to a strong domineering woman. Humans are as afraid as we are intrigued by the unknown and so it makes perfect sense that we sometimes find ourselves drawn to people we seem to have absolutely nothing in common with or who could potentially be the exact opposite of us. It’s also pretty safe to say that when looking for a mate we’re looking to find someone who completes us so having someone who shines in the departments we may be lacking in could possibly create a beautiful balance as we each bring our best qualities to the table. However it can also prove to be damaging in some cases. Sometimes it’s not a beautiful balance at all but rather a power struggle or an abusive situation where one partner is controlling or manipulating the other. A super shy girl should not go for a boisterous ladies man because she’ll never stand a chance when competing for his time and affection and a super dominant woman should stay away from men who are very passive and submissive because eventually she will lose her respect for him and turn into his boss or mother rather than the love of his life. It’s important to take the time to discover what type of person you are so that you’re able to tell which people would best suite you. This saves much time and energy and may lessen the chances of a broken heart. If you’re already in a relationship then take a look at what it is you’re bringing to the table and figure out if you and your love are truly balanced or just going through the relationship motions. Start by writing down the qualities you admire about yourself then write down the qualities you hope to find in a mate or wish your current mate had or are happy that your mate has. Compare the two lists and see how many match and how many are actually inner void fillers. If you have more void fillers than matches then you basically wrote yourself a list of the things you may need to work on. Of course it is magical meeting someone who makes you feel whole but any healthy relationship consists of two equally whole parts so taking the time to discover what you need and need to work on is a major factor in being the perfect counterpart you were meant to be. Once you have your first list of things to work on go out and research. Find books or news paper articles on the subjects. Utilize the internet. Ask other people how they cope with the same issues. The point here is to be completely honest with yourself about the areas you need work on. I myself struggled with anger for many, many years and it was my desire to break old habits that lead me to continue researching about other areas I felt I needed to work on and that ultimately brought me to write this blog so you never know how beneficial it may be for you to take a good long look at yourself and to start finding ways to becoming a better you. 

Beating The Green Eyed Monster

Jealousy has been the cause of many a bad break up, heated arguments and a whole lot of restraining orders but you don’t have to fall victim to its curse. Jealousy and anger are emotional reactions to scenarios you’ve actually created in your own mind. Once you become aware of that it’s easier to control your jealous thoughts and you begin to see that what you may have thought was going on is not at all. Although there are times when your jealousy may be understandable learning how to cope with it will make the situation a lot easier since jealousy and anger are never healthy ways of getting what you want. Once you’re in a fit of jealousy though, trying to change those emotions will be like trying to walk through a brick wall, not gonna happen, but if you can learn to stop the jealous emotions from taking over then you’re well on your way to being the confident person you can and should be. In a relationship you’re bound to find a reason or 2 or 37 to get jealous and that’s normal. But ask yourself if you believe your partner is truly capable of doing such things or if it’s a source of your own insecurities? If you find that you’re letting your jealousy control your relationship then you may need to look at where you stand self esteem wise. Often we become jealous of people we feel are better than us in some way. Its human nature to be competitive but you shouldn’t feel the need to compete with every other woman or man your partner may come in contact with. You have to have faith in your mate and your relationship so that you don’t allow jealous thoughts to creep in and capture all the good feelings you have about them. When you display fits of unwarranted jealousy you look crazy since your bf or gf hasn't done anything wrong yet here you are frantically crying or blaming them for things that only took place in your mind. You have to understand that what you’re upset at is not your partner or the potential threat. What you’re experiencing is fear. The fear of losing your partner can be so overwhelming that you lose sight of the fact that they aren’t going anywhere. They love and chose you of all people so you should feel proud when another woman or man gives them an eye or tries to get their number because they are yours and yours alone. If you still feel your jealousy getting out of control try these few tips below

·        Acknowledge the jealousy

·        Ask yourself if its due to your own beliefs or your mates actions

·        Recognize the core fear of the jealousy

·        Value the priceless act of trusting someone

·        Face your own insecurities

·        Focus on your own qualities

·        Don’t compare yourself to others

·        Practice

If your partner has been unfaithful in the past then you may have a much harder time controlling your jealous tendencies however if you’ve chosen to forgive them and move on then please, forgive them and move on. You cannot take someone back to keep punishing them for a mistake they made in the past and if they’ve proven they’re sorry and working towards gaining your trust back then give them the benefit of the doubt. If they’re displaying untrustworthy behavior then you may need to end the relationship and save your valued trust for someone more worthy. The bottom line is if you can’t trust them you do not need to be with them because everyone wants a partner who has faith in them. It makes us feel better about ourselves and our relationships. 

Anger Management

This topic is near and dear to my heart since it’s the main reason I began working on myself in the first place and it opened so many different doors to all the growth potential I hadn’t noticed before. Anger is something that just like stress can take over your life and is a toxic way of being. There are different types of Temper Disorders: Temper Deregulation, Aggression and Road Rage are all considered temper disorders. The basis is that each of these acts displays a lack of self control. There are many different reasons why someone may be suffering from an anger disorder so the first step is to get to the root of the anger so you can begin to let it go. Without realizing we sometimes become so angry and infuriated that we end up really hurting the people we love. Granted the person may have pissed you off but at times you may be blowing minor things out of proportion or taking your anger way too far. The key is to figure out which problems warrant an uncontrollable outburst and which do not. I know from personal experience that some people and some issues make it extremely hard to keep a lid on my temper but I also know first hand that it can be done. The trick I’ve used is to ask myself BEFORE I freak out what exactly I stand to gain by losing my cool. If getting angry, swearing and hurting people’s feelings is what I’m looking to gain then hell really hath no fury but for the most part I end up realizing the situation or person isn’t worth upsetting myself over and I can just leave it alone or walk away. You begin to feel in control not only of yourself but of what’s happening around you too because you’re not worried about the actions of others but rather yours and yours alone. We all have the right to get angry and sometimes things will be done to us that we may feel are unfair but we should always remember that no one can bring us to an uncontrollable state of anger without first our consent. I have seen some folks face unimaginable wrongs done to them and they were able to chalk it up to a bad experience and move on without breaking a sweat (or a face) and I’ve seen some go completely bonkers over the littlest things most wouldn’t even penetrate. The point is that anger IS controllable you just have to become consciously aware of how you respond to people and situations. Here are some anger management tricks you can try

Give yourself permission to get angry

Concentrate on your breathing and begin to visualize peace within you

Learn to forgive and forget

Accept people for who they are

Listen to relaxing music or meditate

Think of the consequences of your angry responses

If you’re spiritual pray

If you’re facing a problem and feel yourself growing angrier and angrier the first thought should be to remove yourself from the situation so you can immediately begin to use your tips to try and relax and apply controlled judgment to figure out if it’s even something worth upsetting yourself over. 

Busting Stress

It goes without saying that stress is something we’ve all had to deal with. The thing is that even though life throws many challenges our way and things seem to change so suddenly allowing yourself to become stressed out will only make the problems seem bigger and harder to cope with. Stress can turn into depression in the blink of an eye so it’s important to keep a handle on the things you allow your’ self to get upset over. Not every argument is a means to an end. Not every obstacle is impossible to over come. Not every person you meet is going to hurt you. Yes you will worry sometimes, that’s a given however if you choose to let those worries consume you then you’re in the beginning stages of completely stressing yourself out. No one on earth has the power to stress you out it’s all in YOUR head. There is a saying: mind over matter meaning if YOU don’t mind then IT doesn’t matter. If you let things get to you then guess what, they will get to you but if you chose to rise above petty problems and save your energy for better things like fixing them instead of dwelling on them then you’re already alleviating a huge amount of stress and tension from your mind and body. Stress comes from the resistance to change and adapt to things happening around you so embrace the fact that things can, will and always do change. That’s the natural way of life and it’s what makes the world go round so begin telling yourself change is not only good but necessary to the advancement of mankind. We all become frustrated when we cannot control certain situations but by adopting the attitude that if you can’t change something, change yourself you begin to see that these uncontrollable situations you fret can and will begin to work themselves out. Every one of us will have stressful days and moments the key is being able to recognize which arguments or issues are worth becoming stressed over and which can be left alone to sort out on their own. Going into any relationship you should have a good handle on your stress levels because those you interact with will eventually do something that can potentially lead to you feeling stressed. Once you’ve allowed said stress to take over you’ll see that it causes a trickle down effect on all the other relationships you have in your everyday life. The point is not to let your worries control your life. You might want to try these few tips to help you along the way.  

·        Make a list of what stresses you most then eliminate anything you know you CANNOT change

·        Accentuate the positive and remove the negative

·        Smile

·        Keep perspective

·        Pick up a new and exciting hobby

·        Talk to a close friend

·        Try seeing a therapist

·        Tell yourself everything is going to be just fine, and believe it

Procrastination is another way people tend to stress themselves out. Its something I have a personal struggle with everyday but if you’re leaving things to get done until the last minute then you’re running the risk of either having more stuff to deal with when you finally come around to it or just not getting it done at all. Stress is attributed to so many other health issues that it only makes sense we try to learn ways to stop it dead in its tracks before it gets out of control. Stress is also closely tied in to anger as well. People who have an angrier disposition tend to find more reasons for stress so having a firm grip on your temper can be very beneficial when dealing with stressful situations.

Being Patient With Him

Patience in the dictionary is described as the act or power of calmly or contentedly waiting for something due or hoped for. It’s a passive expression of love. Patience is not necessarily what you do but how you react to people and situations. They say that 10% of life is what happens to us and the other 90% is how we respond to it so it makes it easy to see why having a patient attitude would be beneficial in all walks of life however when dealing with the opposite sex having patience can be the glue that holds your entire relationship together. It might not be on their check list but men appreciate a patient woman more than you or I will ever really understand because they themselves don’t realize how much patience it actually takes to deal with them. This next sentence may sound like something from a June Cleaver script but if you’re looking to get and keep a man then you must take what I’m saying seriously; To calmly endure an inconvenience and not react impulsively shows a man you not only care deeply for him but that you are level headed and equipped to handle major life decisions in the future, if it ever came to that. When you adopt a patient attitude you are no longer in a hurry and are able to wait for as long as needed for the best possible outcomes or responses. Your temper is under control and you’re not easily disturbed by annoyances. It gives you the chance to stay hopeful despite any delays in progress and you begin to accept that some things just cannot be changed, which is just fine. Having patience shows that you’re confident in what ever life has to throw at you. When I'm having a hard time dealing with male counterparts I try to use these tips to keep me centered so I'm not making any rash decisions in hast:

  

·        Keep faithful that things will work out for the best

·        Remember patience is a virtue

·        Never give up

·        Find effective ways to deal with issues rather than getting angry

·        Slow down

You should never compromise your morals or values for the sake of proving your patience and you should never put yourself in an uncomfortable situation for that reason either but there are times you can exercise your patient skills and show off your cool, calm qualities like when you want to talk and he doesn’t or when a guy says he’d call but didn’t. It’s appealing to men to see a woman face an obstacle with grace and poise and for the most part having patience has a major impact on alleviating stress. 

Keeping Positive

Keeping a good self image may be tough at times but keeping a positive attitude can seem even tougher however having a positive aspect on life is not only soothing for your soul but it makes you extra appealing to the people around you. Men are attracted to women who seem happy all together and women are drawn to men who have pleasant and sunny dispositions. No one wants to adopt the burden of having to bring joy into someone else’s life so if you have a cold, pessimistic demeanor then you’re turning people off before you even have the chance to turn them on. Being flexible and adapting easily to change improves your mental state drastically. If you’re giving off a negative vibe or find yourself constantly whining and complaining then you may be the cause of your failed relationships because you’re making it very hard for others to see a happy future with you since you’re clearly so unhappy in the present. However, after mastering your self confidence having a positive attitude wont be all that hard because you’ll already have one reason to be happy, you! It’s important to keep that positive aura around you and to remember it not only benefits you as a partner, friend or family member but it benefits your all around well being. Practicing positive living is to some, a spiritual quest to their greater self. It’s said that by living a happy and content life now you may decrease your risk of many diseases in the future and from experience I can say that life on the half full side is so much more fulfilling then life over on half empty lane was. Adopting a positive outlook on life can and will only make positive changes and since like attracts like then you’ll most likely start to attract a plethora of positive people to you as well! Here are a few tips on how to stay positive even when things seem to be going wrong:

·        Fill your mind with happy thoughts and memories

·        Keep positive people around you

·        Read positive and uplifting materials

·        Be thankful and say thank you often

·        Be flexible

·        Learn to trust yourself

·        Remember to live and let live

·        Focus on or help others

It’s important to remember that everyday won’t be perfect. Things will happen that you weren’t prepared for and people will get on your nerves and piss you off but tomorrow is always another day. A new day means a new chance to make things right. Be nice to yourself, love yourself and have patience. 

Self Love and Confidence

As human beings we all have the same basic needs and desires. To feel safe, happy and content in our day to day lives are just a few but I think our greatest and most profound desire/need is to experience love. Many times we find ourselves stuck in an unhealthy relationship or desperately seeking approval from outside sources such as friends and family due to our humanly nature to feel loved and accepted. We sometimes go to great lengths to hold on to people and relationships even if we know they aren't good for us in fear of being rejected and ultimately left alone. We may accept certain behaviors knowing it's unfair or painful to us just to keep someone else happy so they in turn wont leave and we may even beg or plead with someone who's trying to let go of us or the situation/relationship making ourselves look ridiculous and flat out pitiful. The commonalities here are the desperate needs to feel loved by someone other then ourselves. I myself have fallen victim to this harsh cycle plenty of times in my life but as i get older (and hopefully wiser) I realize that if I just spend a little more time loving myself then I wont need to settle, beg or seek love in an unhealthy form from unhealthy sources. I found the more I loved myself the easier it was to spot people and situations that weren't progressive of my growth as an individual. I stopped seeking the approval of others and began to reflect on my own needs and how I could fulfill them for myself and I began to see that what I had been so desperate to find was inside of me all along, to know true and unconditional love that has no end or beginning. No love is greater than the love one can have for themselves. Now I'm obviously not promoting a hermit like existence, we all need human contact and to give and share as much love as possible during our time on earth but I am promoting a love for yourself that's so powerful, so beautiful and so pure that the people you surround yourself with have no choice but to love you just as much. I know its hard to feel this way about ourselves when we live in a society where looks, money and social status' are cherished and praised to no end but to be able to stay afloat its a definite MUST! The more we love and accept ourselves the less we love and accept the idea of what we think we "should" be and the more deserving we feel when its time to allow someone else to love us too. In order to have healthy relationships you have to have a deep connection with yourself and be able to accept who are regardless of how anyone else feels about you. Self love promotes confidence and self assurance which are qualities beneficial to everyone in every aspect of life and I found the more open I was to loving myself the closer I became to God because I started to see that I was made in His light, pure and perfect just as he is. You cannot be a productive partner, parent, friend or member of society if you're lacking where it counts the most so do everyone around you a favor and start loving the amazing person you are and leave behind the negative self talk and criticism. Try these confidence boosting tips if you have to.

List your most valued qualities and the reasons you value them
List all your greatest achievements and why they make you proud
Write yourself 3 affirmations and say them everyday until you truly believe them
Read books and articles that promote self awareness
Remember no one on earth is perfect
Give yourself permission to make mistakes
Journal
End any and all emotional or mentally abusive relationships

Contradiction - Good, Bad or Necessary?

For my very first post ever in history I wanna talk about contradiction. I myself am a walking contradiction and I'm sure if you continue to read this blog you'll begin to agree. For example; I absolutely love animals! It hurts my heart to see any animal treated unfairly or in a cruel manor however when I'm hungry and craving a big juicy burger or some greasy fried chicken wings I have no thought about the poor animal who gave his life so I can stuff my face. I also contradict myself in other ways such as promoting a life full of love and peace and opening our hearts to each other and to God while in my leisure I curse like a sailor, smoke, drink and act kinda selfishly at times. I'm basically not perfect and have many flaws I'm pretty sure God isn't smiling at. So I guess my question is is contradiction good, bad or necessary?
Most of life is a contradiction. We were born to eventually die, if we never knew evil we'd never know what good is and if we never spent time in the dark we wouldn't be able to appreciate light so don't we need some contradictions? It probably sounds like I'm trying to excuse my bad behaviors and I can admit it sorta does but the point I'm trying to make is that no matter how hard we may try there is a point in everyone's life when he/she is gonna contradict themselves. Does that make us bad? I don't think so. In fact I actually think it makes us kinda great! Contradiction in a sense means a change in direction and all change is necessary throughout our entire lives. What you may have believed in a year ago you just don't believe in anymore so should you be judged for that? Absolutely not. Its living proof that you're evolving in some way. We're always moving and changing with the times so to expect anyone to stay in one place with the same beliefs forever is impossible. Views will change, opinions will change and ultimately people will change too so the best way to cope is to start taking responsibility for our own actions and stop worrying about what others are doing, saying and feeling. I very much believe we all need to come together to form a more unity based existence but I think its equally important to live a more me based life as well. Another contradiction? Yup. However the only person who should be judging my contradictions is me (with the exception of God of course). We need not worry about others contradicting themselves if that contradiction has no direct effect on our lives and if we all lived in this way it would be a huge step toward coming together even though it means paying closer attention to ourselves rather than the people around us. If we stop monitoring each others intentions then who is left to accuse us of being contradictory? You guessed it, no one! So next time you see or hear someone contradicting themselves try not to pass judgment and if you catch yourself doing it don't feel bad since we're all pretty much hard wired to do it anyway. Live your life the way you see fit and make whatever changes you feel you should without worrying about what other people are thinking. As long as your intentions aren't to hurt anybody then regardless of what direction you take and when you choose to take it you're making progress and that's always a good thing.