Jealousy has been the cause of many a bad break up, heated arguments and a whole lot of restraining orders but you don’t have to fall victim to its curse. Jealousy and anger are emotional reactions to scenarios you’ve actually created in your own mind. Once you become aware of that it’s easier to control your jealous thoughts and you begin to see that what you may have thought was going on is not at all. Although there are times when your jealousy may be understandable learning how to cope with it will make the situation a lot easier since jealousy and anger are never healthy ways of getting what you want. Once you’re in a fit of jealousy though, trying to change those emotions will be like trying to walk through a brick wall, not gonna happen, but if you can learn to stop the jealous emotions from taking over then you’re well on your way to being the confident person you can and should be. In a relationship you’re bound to find a reason or 2 or 37 to get jealous and that’s normal. But ask yourself if you believe your partner is truly capable of doing such things or if it’s a source of your own insecurities? If you find that you’re letting your jealousy control your relationship then you may need to look at where you stand self esteem wise. Often we become jealous of people we feel are better than us in some way. Its human nature to be competitive but you shouldn’t feel the need to compete with every other woman or man your partner may come in contact with. You have to have faith in your mate and your relationship so that you don’t allow jealous thoughts to creep in and capture all the good feelings you have about them. When you display fits of unwarranted jealousy you look crazy since your bf or gf hasn't done anything wrong yet here you are frantically crying or blaming them for things that only took place in your mind. You have to understand that what you’re upset at is not your partner or the potential threat. What you’re experiencing is fear. The fear of losing your partner can be so overwhelming that you lose sight of the fact that they aren’t going anywhere. They love and chose you of all people so you should feel proud when another woman or man gives them an eye or tries to get their number because they are yours and yours alone. If you still feel your jealousy getting out of control try these few tips below
· Acknowledge the jealousy
· Ask yourself if its due to your own beliefs or your mates actions
· Recognize the core fear of the jealousy
· Value the priceless act of trusting someone
· Face your own insecurities
· Focus on your own qualities
· Don’t compare yourself to others
· Practice
If your partner has been unfaithful in the past then you may have a much harder time controlling your jealous tendencies however if you’ve chosen to forgive them and move on then please, forgive them and move on. You cannot take someone back to keep punishing them for a mistake they made in the past and if they’ve proven they’re sorry and working towards gaining your trust back then give them the benefit of the doubt. If they’re displaying untrustworthy behavior then you may need to end the relationship and save your valued trust for someone more worthy. The bottom line is if you can’t trust them you do not need to be with them because everyone wants a partner who has faith in them. It makes us feel better about ourselves and our relationships.
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